A Normal Day in the Life of Booker T
by LordAtomic
Summary: My guess on Booker T's everyday life; what the WWF doesn't want you to know about the 5-time (count 'em, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5-TIME) WCW Champion. Now can you dig that, sucka?
1. The Gripping Introduction!

A Normal Day in the Life of Booker T  
  
By: LordAtomic  
  
Legal Crap Nobody Reads  
I am not Booker T. Hell, I've never even met him! I did meet Test, my favorite wrestler, once. It was cool.  
  
***  
  
It was a cheery Sunday morning. As sunlight streamed through his window and onto his eyes, Booker T slowly rose from his bed. As soon as he regained his bearings, he quickly shook the cobwebs out of his head and put a big grin on his face.  
  
"It's morning, sucka!", he yelled for no reason.  
  
Booker T then stood on his bed and dropped to one knee, and placed his right hand square in front of his face. After bobbing his head a few times, he then proceeded to pull a perfect Spineroony. ...Well, it was perfect, except his spinning legs hit the wall and created gaping dents.  
  
"I fill those dents in later, sucka!", he proclaimed to nobody but himself. Suddenly, Booker T's phone rang.  
  
"Who the hell is this, sucka?!", Booker T screamed into the telephone.  
  
"Hello, is this Booker T?"  
  
"Yeah, sucka!"  
  
"This is Mick Foley, the WWF Commishioner. You're fired! Have a nice day!". Mick Foley hung up.  
  
"WHAT THE FLYING FUCK COCK SHITTING CRAP?!*", Booker T exclaimed. "My job is all I got, sucka!"  
  
Suddenly the phone rang again.   
  
"Who the hell is this again, sucka?!"  
  
"Hello, would you be interested in buying some Girl Scout Yum-Yum Chocolate Chip Cooki-"  
  
"I hate telemarketers, sucka!". Booker T hung up.  
  
After he took about ½ hour to calm down, he decided to go outside and look for a new job. After falling onto one knee and doing the Spinaroony again, he went into his car to look for a job.  
  
To be continued...  
  
*Special thanks go to my friend MogKnight for creating this string of vulgarity. For those who are wondering, he exclaimed this "Vulgar Haiku" after learning of the new cartoon Zelda and the kiddy Mario Sunshine, two crappy Nintendo GameCube games. 


	2. It's not a bad chapter, it's a GOOD chap...

A Normal Day in the Life of Booker T  
Chapter 2 - "It's not a bad chapter, it's a GOOD chapter!"  
  
By: LordAtomic  
  
***  
  
Booker T got into his Ford Pinto and drove to the local McDonalds, ready to ask to become the newest burger-flipper. He drove through the Drive Thru and was immediately greeted with a very familiar voice.  
  
"Welcome to McDonald's, the number one fast food joint for hiring migrant workers! But that's not a bad thing...THAT'S A GOOD THING!"  
  
"...Is this Diamond Dallas Page, sucka?", a confused Booker T asked.   
  
"Why, of course it is! But that's not a bad thing...THAT'S A GOOD THING!"  
  
"Why the hell are you working here, sucka?!"  
  
"Oh, didn't you hear? Mick Foley fired all of the Alliance members. But that's not a bad thing...THAT'S A GOO-"  
  
"You didn't just say that..."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"TELL ME you did not just say that!"  
  
'But it's true! Mick Foley fired me, so I'm working here among smelly migrant workers for minimum wage and barely supporting my wife and children, having to ignore all taxes, mortgage, and car insurance bills! But that's not a bad thing...THAT'S A GOOD THI-"  
  
"Shut the hell up, sucka! It's time we took a stand against that sucka Mick Foley! Ever since I came into the WWF, I have gotten NUTHIN BUT DISRESPECT! My name is Booker T, and I am the 5-time; count 'em, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5-TIME, WCW champion! I've had midgets dress up as me and mock the spineroony, I've had the 7' 2'', 500 lbs. Big Show dress up as me and mock the spineroony, but worst of all, I've had The Rock steal my WCW title! Now can you dig that, sucka?!?!"  
  
"...would you like to try McDonald's new McGriddle sandwich! It combines tasty sausage patties with the fresh taste of pancakes in every bite!"  
  
"Hell yeah, sucka! Before we kick Foley's ass, I'll take three of them!"  
  
"And then?"  
  
"And then...I'll have a Sausage McMuffin, sucka!"  
  
"And then?"  
  
"Uh...I guess I'll have a medium Diet Coke, sucka!"  
  
"And then?"  
  
"No, that's all I need", Booker T said quietly.  
  
"And then?"  
  
"And then give me my food!"  
  
"And then?"  
  
"NO AND THEN!"  
  
"And then?"  
  
"NO AND THEN!"  
  
"And then?"  
  
"NO AND THEN!"  
  
"AND THENNNNNNNNN?!"  
  
Booker T then proceeded to destroy the intercom in his rage.   
  
"I don't have time for your shit, sucka!", Booker T screamed into the nearly destroy intercom. "Now, we find Foley and get our damn jobs back!"  
  
***  
  
To be continued...  
  
I'm sure you all found my "Dude, Where's my Car?" reference. I saw that movie for the first time yesterday and I feel that it truly kicked the proverbial ass. 


End file.
